First Year

“It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right. I hope you had the time of your life.” –Good Riddance, Green Day

My freshman year of college ended with tears, bone-crushing hugs, and many exclamations of “I’ll see you soon.” I never expected that a small Pitt branch campus in the middle of nowhere would lead me down a path to meeting the most incredible group of people I know. Of course, I can’t begin the story from the ending.

I’m a firm believer in that things can happen for a reason. I definitely think there was a good reason behind my decision to go to Pitt Greensburg. Sure, saving a large amount of money and getting more one-on-one attention with professors was a big part of it, but there was a greater reason for my coming here. It was more in my comfort level, it was similar to Lewisberry, and it was an easier adjustment to being three hours from home. Going in, I thought I was going to sit in my room and never socialize, only attending the required events and keeping to myself. I was 100% wrong. My group of friends have brought me to realize that I can be myself and still have people who are willing to be around. Because of them, I am more open and sociable. I have been exposed to new thoughts and experiences, ones that I never would have gotten into before. They helped me to realize I don’t always have to be alone, okay, or strong. I guess it would help to say that we call ourselves the Sweatys, which consists of Becca, B, Brandon, Cam, Haley, Summer, and I. We have other friends too, but this group is like the core of most memories I’ve made this year.

Here are my top five favorites from my first year in college with my favorite people.

Surprise for Summer: All of the Sweatys gathered in 10fun to celebrate the birthday of the youngest in the group. Everyone managed to keep it a secret, which made it extremely easy to pull off, and Summer had no idea. Haley and I had managed to bake and decorate a cake, and with the help of B, blow up two bags of balloons to scatter the floor.  When she finally came home, we shocked her so much that she started to cry (happy tears, of course). We all laughed together, hugged, ate a homemade cake with way to much icing on it, and simply enjoyed each other’s presence. This was a night in which everyone was in high spirits, and I went to bed with a feeling of content. A picture is also posted above that embodies this college family and the night we spent in fun.

Sledding at Midnight: After the first of a few Mead House jam sessions, the Sweatys and friends from another room decided to go sledding in the fresh snow outside the building. We didn’t have real sleds, so we improvised and used trash bags, which worked just as well. This was the first night I felt connected to the people around me, a night in which I was reminded of how much I truly appreciated their friendship. We didn’t worry about how loud we were, how dirty and muddy we were getting, or what tricks we’d attempt. We just had fun. No stress over papers, or labs, or exams, we were just a group of college kids having a good time. This night reminded me that college doesn’t have to be about partying or drinking until your memory is wiped. It can be about having the time of your life and remembering it the next day, and honestly it is so much more fun that way.

Trips to Pittsburgh Parts 1, 2, and 3: The first time some of the Sweatys (Becca, B, Brandon, Summer, and I) went to Pittsburgh  for the day was a new experience for all of us. We tried new things, drank our weights in bubble tea, and gave Becca the chance to see the city at night from the overlooks for the first time. The second time was with Delaney, Lily, and Haley to see Disney on Ice. We may have been a little bit more excited than most of the little children there. One woman asked us if we were in the theatre club at school, we replied with “Nope, we just really love Disney.” We weren’t embarrassed when we knew all the lyrics to every song, and it was an incredible show! The third trip to Pittsburgh was with Becca, B, and Haley, and we did a little bit of everything. We went to Seoul Mart for Choco-pies. We ate salads as big as our heads at Hello! Bistro, got cute cupcakes from a small shop, and went to Point State Park and sat on the stairs near the water to talk about everything and nothing. All three of these trips were remarkable getaways from the stress of campus, and ended up holding memories that will last a lifetime.

Seeing Green Day Live: My aunt and cousin had an extra ticket to go see the iconic band, Green Day, and of course I accepted their offer. I grew up listening to Green Day with my siblings and cousins, so this was a huge deal to me. I never thought I would get the chance to see them in concert, but now I have their tour shirt to remind me that it wasn’t a dream. I chanted, scream-sang the lyrics, and put the rock on symbol in the air.  For the finale they performed one of my favorite songs, Good Riddance, and I started to tear up. I felt a sense of peace wash over me as the confetti rained down during the final chords. In that moment, I smiled to myself and realized that in this year, I’m having the time of my life.

Late Nights in the Gazebo: Oftentimes when we are bored, the Sweatys go for walks. We go to Twin Lakes, to the tree hidden in the woods behind campus, and at 2am we go to the gazebo next to the library. This has become a place of solitude. A place we can say whatever we want without being judged. We sing. We share secrets. We play our favorite songs at the moment. It’s just a place we can be under the stars and with each other. In that gazebo, I told of the darkest time in my life, something I never spoke of to anyone, not even my mom. My friends didn’t criticize me or look at me differently. Each one of them gave me a hug, and reminded me how lucky I am that things are better now. That very day, I knew. I had the greatest group of people come into my life this year. I found my people, and they made the biggest difference in my life.

So my advice to you, the reader, is this. Do your best. Be yourself. And choose to live your life and experience it rather than just survive. Do this, and you can find your people, too.

All My Love,



A Poetic Night

“Everyone has a 2am and a 2pm personality. I’m more interested in the monster you become at 2am rather than the human being you pretend to be at 2pm.” -Unknown

It is so easy to get lost, both in thought and on the backroads of Greensburg, PA.

It had been an unusually long Friday, the hours inching on into infinity. I didn’t get to see my friends as much as I typically do. They were all busy with classes and in the evening half of them were performing in the play, while B and Haley went to see it (for the second time). It was a great show, but that is a story for another time.

It was when everyone got home from the show that the adventure began.

After taking care of our friend and making sure she was okay, Haley and I decided to go for a drive. There was no real destination, it was just a way for us to escape the weight of being on campus. We had no idea where we were going, and honestly we didn’t really care. We listened and sang along with Adele’s album, 21, dodged small groups of deer, and laughed away the fear of how dark and sketchy it was at two in the morning.

It’s funny what the early hours of the morning can bring two people to say. Haley told me her thoughts and feelings, as well as her memories and fears. I won’t say what they were, simply because this was a conversation meant for the two of us in her car, Penelope. In turn, I told Haley my biggest fears and things I have never told anyone else but my mom. I don’t trust just anyone with what burdens me, mostly because I worry more about what others are going through than I do my own problems. I tell my close friends a lot about me, but I keep the deepest, darkest parts of myself a mystery. I don’t know why I said it that night, but I don’t regret it. It was nice to let it go for once.

At some point, Haley and I started to cry, a rare occurrence for both of us. Haley and I are very similar in that we don’t like to cry, rather we don’t cry in front of people, besides maybe family. Haley is the only person at this school who has seen me full on crying. I’ve teared up over a movie and when I explained what happened to me, sure, but I’ve never actually cried in front of anyone here at college, except Haley. I think it was a relief for both of us. We needed to breakdown a little to be able to rebuild.

That’s why I would consider Haley to be my best friend. We do stupid things together, bicker, pull pranks on each other, but the best thing we do is understand each other 100%. I think we both trust each other enough to allow ourselves to be at our most vulnerable around each other.

After the tears stopped, Haley opened the sunroof, Adele’s album playing through for a second time. I knew exactly what she was telling me I could do. Grinning, I stood up through the gap and let the cold air beat at my face. From head to hip, I was flying through the cold March night, with Penelope keeping me planted. I truly felt infinite. Haley laughed from the driver’s seat as I yelled and pretended I was a plane. We neared a busier road, so I returned to my seat with a wide smile on my face. The conversation and mood became much less heavy.

When we got back to campus, Haley asked me where we should go. Right, I forgot to mention this. We brought a notebook, two pens, and a lighter. These things would allow us to get rid of some of the troubles we carry with ourselves. We drove back behind the baseball field in the pitch black darkness. As scared as we were, this was something we wanted, needed, to do.

We each took a piece of paper and a pen and wrote down a few of our regrets. We didn’t look at each other’s paper. We didn’t need to. This was to help us personally forgive ourselves and forget. To start fresh. Stepping out into the cold, Haley did the honors of burning her regrets first. As hard as it was with the wind, we lit her paper and watched it burn to ash. Then, it was my turn.

Regrets are hard to fully lose, and it certainly showed as I tried and failed many times to burn mine. It must have taken 5 minutes for my paper to light. The wind blowing out the flame as quickly as it lit. Birds made long whistling sounds that scared both Haley and I, so I hastily continued in my attempts to set my paper on fire. Finally, it caught and again we watched as it burned to dust. Haley and I agreed that it would have been more satisfying if the weather cooperated. Nevertheless, a weight was lifted off our shoulders and we returned home to go to bed.

I don’t think Haley and I become monsters at 2am. If anything, we become more in touch with the deeper parts of ourselves, and we break the walls we’ve built if only for a short while. I couldn’t be more thankful for a friend like her.

All My Love,