It All Starts With a Dream

When I was little, I dreamed of being everything. I wanted to be an astronaut, an animal rescuer, a dancer, and anything else that came to mind. My young mind was still malleable enough to allow me the capacity to learn and perfect skills I could use for life as an adult someday. I had the world at my feet, which gave me the chance to be whatever I wanted to and to accomplish whatever goal I had. Now, I still have the opportunity to choose from a variety of options, of which I’ve worked hard and am incredibly thankful for. But growing up I realized more of my limitations, and reality hit me around the age of thirteen. What am I going to be? Will I be successful? What does success even mean to me?

I know 13 years old is really young to be thinking these things. But 13 year old Corrine thought through everything. She would become a marine biologist with a graduate school degree, live along the coast, walk on the beach first thing every morning, get married at 26 or 27 and have a child a year after. I knew how I wanted to live and I thought I had everything figured out. Most of the adults who crossed my path told me that I am “wise beyond my years” and that I have “the mind of a successful thirty year old.” Of course back then I was a little offended, I’m thirteen, I’m just a teenager. But now I realize that it was a compliment. They saw that I had wisdom most teenagers didn’t have. They had basically told me that I already had what it takes to be a successful adult despite my age. I was proud of myself for having a dream that I would make a reality. Then, senior year of high school rolled around.

Senior year is one of the biggest stepping stones in a teenager’s life. You pick your college, you decide on a career, you begin adulthood. I figured it would be a breeze. I knew what I wanted to do and where I wanted to go. I had stuck with being a marine biologist for over five years, surely I could do it for the rest of my life. But when the time finally came, I questioned it. What are the odds that I can actually be a marine biologist? What do I even do? Thoughts swam in and out of my mind, I can’t tell you how many different occupations I imagined myself doing. And it was quite frustrating. I had this dream for years of being out on the ocean, and that dream quickly faded into a hazy, gray blur. I didn’t know what I wanted anymore, and application deadlines, accepting a school, and graduation were quickly approaching. I was running out of time.

Now, let me bring you back to present day. So I decided on a school after all, and chose to start my college career on a safer level with University of Pittsburgh at Greensburg. Coming from a small town, I figured it would be easier for me to start small and, if I wished, I could transfer to main campus (still debating). What I was unsure of was my major. What would I specialize in? I didn’t want to be one of the undecided students, so I immersed myself in Chemistry. I was always good at it, so I thought it would be a good start. As I told more and more people about it, they would ask me what could I do with a chemistry degree. To be honest, I had absolutely no idea. I began to question myself yet again and became frustrated once more. Luckily, I had a pretty awesome chemistry professor, Dr. McClendon. Dr. McClendon and I had a conversation about my major. She could see my uncertainty and made a suggestion. Biochemistry. I had always thought biochemistry was only for those who wanted to be doctors someday, but after a little more research I found that there was so much more to it. I could be a forensic scientist (my current #1 option), a biochemical engineer, a disease control biologist, even a marine biologist! I realized in having that conversation that I was looking for an option too narrow for me to fit into. If I could open my mind I could give myself room to be what I truly wanted to be in the realm of science. Dr. McClendon, if you are reading this, thank you for making the suggestion. Without you, I wouldn’t be as confident as I am now in my major.

More or less, the moral of this story is to let your dreams come to you and broaden your horizons. Work hard, earn your way, and you can do absolutely everything you set your mind to.

All my love,

Corrine.

In Memorium

“O say does that star spangled banner yet wave, o’er the land of the free and the home of the brave.”

I woke up at 7am on Memorial Day to the sight and sound of pouring rain, and instantly was struck with an inspiration for this poem.

I want to take a minute to thank all of the veterans and currently serving soldiers, as well as their families for what they have gone through, are going through, or what may come.  My dad was once a marine and I have several generations of military servicemen in my genes. But I couldn’t imagine losing someone to war. Thank you for your sacrifices and for remaining strong through all of the hardships. It is truly so appreciated, and know that you have so many people walking behind you on this journey.

On this day

Even God sheds tears for

The men and women who fought,

Who died,

To uphold the freedom of their nation.

These men and women paid the ultimate price, to protect,

To serve,

And to give future generations

A place to call home.

Soldiers lost their lives.

Families lost their mothers and fathers,

Brothers and sisters,

Sons and daughters,

Wives and husbands.

All of them are heroes.

All of them deserved better.

And all of them are remembered,

Honored, and loved.

On this day,

The people of this nation

Weep for those who’ve gone.

And God weeps for those they left behind.

Songs of the Seasons

“In whatever form it takes, life sings because it has a song. The meaning is in the lyrics.” –Robert Lanza

We all have those songs that we save for when we are in a certain mood. The music we listen to is like the soundtrack to our lives, each song holds a memory of a person, an event, or anything really. Songs and music speak to the fibers of our beings when simple prose is just not enough.

As tough as it was, I picked my top five favorite songs for each season. Some of them are bopping melodies and some have mellow vibes. But they all have one thing in common, they are a key part in the story of my life. Granted I listen to these songs all the time, these are just the seasons I associate them with the most. I have made a playlist on Spotify including all of these songs. All you have to do is go into Spotify, search csilvio16, and find the playlist named “Songs of the Seasons.” So, in no particular numerical order, here are my top songs of the seasons! Enjoy!

Spring

  1. Paradise by Coldplay
  2. Do U Dirty by Kehlani
  3. I’m Yours by Jason Mraz
  4. The Unknown by Athlete
  5. Castle on the Hill by Ed Sheeran

Summer

  1. This is the Life by Two Door Cinema Club
  2. Island in the Sun by Weezer
  3. The Sound of Sunshine by Michael Franti & Spearhead
  4. Good Life by G-Eazy and Kehlani
  5. Runaway by Mat Kearney

Autumn

  1. A Sky Full of Stars by Coldplay
  2. The Night We Met by Lord Huron
  3. Tee Shirt by Birdy
  4. Chocolate by The 1975
  5. It’s Time by Imagine Dragons

Winter

  1. Not About Angels by Birdy
  2. Oblivion by Bastille
  3. Clocks by Coldplay
  4. Invisible by 5 Seconds of Summer
  5. I Was Made for Loving You by Tori Kelly and Ed Sheeran

 

I hope you like the playlist! Also let me know if you have any song recommendations. I love getting into new music!

All My Love,

Corrine.

This Town

This poem pretty much speaks for itself… Enjoy.

 

I stood for many sunsets on this roof,

watching the golden horizon exchange for the blue-black darkness of night.

I made more plays than I can count

on that softball field the next generation practices on.

There’s the cinema I worked in,

now owned by a new company.

This is where the local theatre used to be,

where I performed before it was shut down.

This place holds so many things.

My memories. My family. My childhood.

Unfortunately in this new chapter of my life,

there is no room in my mind for

this small town.

It has given me everything it could

but now it’s just not enough.

I don’t want to live and die

in this same Central Pennsylvanian lifestyle.

I want to broaden my mind.

I want to see the world.

I don’t want to constantly walk

on eggshells, pretending to be friends

with people who

ridiculed me

and treated me like I was nothing,

which is what I was until now.

Thank you, small town, for getting me here,

and thank you for your hospitality.

But I’m going onward and upward.

To new, and much greater things.

All my love,

Corrine.

 

Oblivion

This is a poem I wrote, again, in my high school creative writing class. This one is more morbid than the last, but it is a truth we all come to realize at one point or another. I’m currently reading We All Looked Up by Tommy Wallach, a book in which the characters face what could potentially be their last two months of life. The book is told from several points of view. Some try to avoid thinking about the inevitable, while others embrace it and do things they never would have done before. Wallach’s novel has reminded me of this poem, and I thought I would share it with my blog. Think, enjoy, discover yourself! All my love, Corrine.

I like to believe I do not fear death,

As everyone else does I’m sure.

But a small piece in the back of my mind

Cringes at the sound of the word.

The truth of the matter is

Everyone, at some point, fears death.

Why is that?

Why is it that we fear life’s grand finale?

Perhaps it’s the unknown,

Or leaving loved ones behind,

Or oblivion.

Whatever the reason, one thing is certain:

Everyone, no matter how tough,

Or strong,

Or brave,

fears an inevitable death.

 

I Do

This is a poem I wrote back in high school for my creative writing class. I figured I could add some of my previous works in with my new material, and be able to mold and edit them in a more mature way. Without further ado, here is my quote poem, “I Do.”

We loved with a love that was more than love,”

So written by Edgar Allen Poe.

That love was indescribable and indestructible.

It was so much more than

A peck on the cheek.

It was sweet, passionate,

And intoxicating.

We were two bodies, but one soul.

We were each other’s missing piece.

Two halves to one whole.

Our bodies and minds fused together,

By something with a power

Stronger than anything on earth.

And so we held on to that love.

Until death did we part.

First Year

“It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right. I hope you had the time of your life.” –Good Riddance, Green Day

My freshman year of college ended with tears, bone-crushing hugs, and many exclamations of “I’ll see you soon.” I never expected that a small Pitt branch campus in the middle of nowhere would lead me down a path to meeting the most incredible group of people I know. Of course, I can’t begin the story from the ending.

I’m a firm believer in that things can happen for a reason. I definitely think there was a good reason behind my decision to go to Pitt Greensburg. Sure, saving a large amount of money and getting more one-on-one attention with professors was a big part of it, but there was a greater reason for my coming here. It was more in my comfort level, it was similar to Lewisberry, and it was an easier adjustment to being three hours from home. Going in, I thought I was going to sit in my room and never socialize, only attending the required events and keeping to myself. I was 100% wrong. My group of friends have brought me to realize that I can be myself and still have people who are willing to be around. Because of them, I am more open and sociable. I have been exposed to new thoughts and experiences, ones that I never would have gotten into before. They helped me to realize I don’t always have to be alone, okay, or strong. I guess it would help to say that we call ourselves the Sweatys, which consists of Becca, B, Brandon, Cam, Haley, Summer, and I. We have other friends too, but this group is like the core of most memories I’ve made this year.

Here are my top five favorites from my first year in college with my favorite people.

Surprise for Summer: All of the Sweatys gathered in 10fun to celebrate the birthday of the youngest in the group. Everyone managed to keep it a secret, which made it extremely easy to pull off, and Summer had no idea. Haley and I had managed to bake and decorate a cake, and with the help of B, blow up two bags of balloons to scatter the floor.  When she finally came home, we shocked her so much that she started to cry (happy tears, of course). We all laughed together, hugged, ate a homemade cake with way to much icing on it, and simply enjoyed each other’s presence. This was a night in which everyone was in high spirits, and I went to bed with a feeling of content. A picture is also posted above that embodies this college family and the night we spent in fun.

Sledding at Midnight: After the first of a few Mead House jam sessions, the Sweatys and friends from another room decided to go sledding in the fresh snow outside the building. We didn’t have real sleds, so we improvised and used trash bags, which worked just as well. This was the first night I felt connected to the people around me, a night in which I was reminded of how much I truly appreciated their friendship. We didn’t worry about how loud we were, how dirty and muddy we were getting, or what tricks we’d attempt. We just had fun. No stress over papers, or labs, or exams, we were just a group of college kids having a good time. This night reminded me that college doesn’t have to be about partying or drinking until your memory is wiped. It can be about having the time of your life and remembering it the next day, and honestly it is so much more fun that way.

Trips to Pittsburgh Parts 1, 2, and 3: The first time some of the Sweatys (Becca, B, Brandon, Summer, and I) went to Pittsburgh  for the day was a new experience for all of us. We tried new things, drank our weights in bubble tea, and gave Becca the chance to see the city at night from the overlooks for the first time. The second time was with Delaney, Lily, and Haley to see Disney on Ice. We may have been a little bit more excited than most of the little children there. One woman asked us if we were in the theatre club at school, we replied with “Nope, we just really love Disney.” We weren’t embarrassed when we knew all the lyrics to every song, and it was an incredible show! The third trip to Pittsburgh was with Becca, B, and Haley, and we did a little bit of everything. We went to Seoul Mart for Choco-pies. We ate salads as big as our heads at Hello! Bistro, got cute cupcakes from a small shop, and went to Point State Park and sat on the stairs near the water to talk about everything and nothing. All three of these trips were remarkable getaways from the stress of campus, and ended up holding memories that will last a lifetime.

Seeing Green Day Live: My aunt and cousin had an extra ticket to go see the iconic band, Green Day, and of course I accepted their offer. I grew up listening to Green Day with my siblings and cousins, so this was a huge deal to me. I never thought I would get the chance to see them in concert, but now I have their tour shirt to remind me that it wasn’t a dream. I chanted, scream-sang the lyrics, and put the rock on symbol in the air.  For the finale they performed one of my favorite songs, Good Riddance, and I started to tear up. I felt a sense of peace wash over me as the confetti rained down during the final chords. In that moment, I smiled to myself and realized that in this year, I’m having the time of my life.

Late Nights in the Gazebo: Oftentimes when we are bored, the Sweatys go for walks. We go to Twin Lakes, to the tree hidden in the woods behind campus, and at 2am we go to the gazebo next to the library. This has become a place of solitude. A place we can say whatever we want without being judged. We sing. We share secrets. We play our favorite songs at the moment. It’s just a place we can be under the stars and with each other. In that gazebo, I told of the darkest time in my life, something I never spoke of to anyone, not even my mom. My friends didn’t criticize me or look at me differently. Each one of them gave me a hug, and reminded me how lucky I am that things are better now. That very day, I knew. I had the greatest group of people come into my life this year. I found my people, and they made the biggest difference in my life.

So my advice to you, the reader, is this. Do your best. Be yourself. And choose to live your life and experience it rather than just survive. Do this, and you can find your people, too.

All My Love,

Corrine.